Question....Dirty undies???

[Kathleen]

OK...what would you do or say if anything? or what do you think is going on? i don't have kids..yet so I am clueless. Clue me in ....on this??? I know this is gross but this has been on mind for a few months now.

We clean for a divorced couple who share custody of an eight year old son has some kind of problem with pooping his underpants. I am not talking about a once in a while kind of thing ..I am talking about 4-7 pairs of undies each bi-weekly cleaning visit. At mom's house we find them every place. He tries to hide them in the corners of the bedroom, under the bed, etc, and most of the time we find them in mom's laundry room tub soaking in cold water. It makes it interesting trying to clean that tub out to say the least..nasty. At dad's place which he visits on weekends, we have only found them once, wadded up behind the bed.

Is this normal for an 8 year old boy?? I certainly don't remember as a little girl having that kind of issue.

Do you think dad picks up and disposes of the undies before we get there? OR
Do you think perhaps there is a medical problem? OR
Something entirely something else..clue me in?? To me there seems to be something like that going on?
Any thoughts??
Do you mention the amount of undies you found at mom's house to mom? Do you mention to dad the next time you find a pair? What the heck do you do with them ....Throw them away or place them in the landry hamper or leave them in plain view on the floor?

I have wanted to say something ..but to find the right words if any I think is the tough part.

-Clueless Kat

[rusty]

Hi Kat,

I have three girls, and they never had that problem. It's a tough call. There could be underlying issues about parents divorce. We do clean for a couple of boys since they where young and now teenagers. My wife has done laundry for both and has never had anything close. Maybe a hankie hidden with other things on them. If you have a good rapport with the parents I would bring it up to the mother. Mean while put those nasty things in a plastic bag and leave in laundry room for the mother. Maybe he has some psychological problems. In this day and age nothing surprises me. Hope this helps. Rusty

[susand]

I would also leave a note explaing she needs to have the dirty underwear out of the tub if you are to clean it. I do not think that is unreasonable. I would mention the ones you find hid and put them in a plastic zip lock or something with a note or call her. I would say if he is hiding them, then it is probably an emotional issue. That is a hard one, because you don't know if the child is getting yelled at over this or abused. I would definitely talk to the mom.
I know I have read that it could be a sign of sexual abuse with a child to be having this kind of problem. Not written in stone, but a possibility.